*yawn*

A full week has blown by since I started this little escapade. And I mean literally blown by... with lots of snow and ice. My human has been walking 1/2 mile round-trip down to our mailbox every day in search of something called a "W2". She bundles up in so much extra clothing that she can hardly see or move! It's a good thing us hounds have our own fur. She tried to put a doggy jacket on me once and I could not stand it! Poor hairless humans. Every time she waddles out the door in search of that W2 I go nuts acting like I want to go with. She then feels sorry that it's too cold to take me with, and promises to hurry back and give me a hug and a tasty treat. Mission accomplished. So then I just go curl up in her bed and nap until she gets back.

Notice how I expertly tuck my toes and tip of my tail for maximum heat retention (my don't I sound smart)

It feels like I've been napping a lot lately; probably due to the low temperatures. I wish that the cold could explain my mood swings too. I almost feel bad for snapping on Twiggy, my sister dog, today. She's a cattle dog and won't stop nipping at my feet and ankles. Just because I'm bigger than her doesn't mean she has to treat me like a cow! If she's going to play the instinct card then this blood-hound has every right to draw a little blood! Wow, I shock myself. I'm usually very forgiving and tolerant of her until there's something worth fighting over, like food. Now that I think about it, I even snapped at my tiny little rat terrier sister, DayZee, yesterday and I never ever push her around! She's barely bigger than the cat and has no issue submitting to me.

Now that I've got that off of my chest, let's end on a positive note. The roads are finally clear so the humans can go get more food!!! The pickin's have been slim around here lately. I suspect that my human might pick up more "plastic sheet protectors" today too. I had a smart idea last night and decided to help out the office supply industry with their economic endeavors by flossing my teeth with shredded bits of plastic (of course I had to shred it first). I may have gone a bit too far, however, and also damaged a few important papers and magazines that my human uses in her home business.

 Busy helping the economy, I have been.

My human says that, to make up for accidentally chewing on her paperwork, I have to tell my readers where to go for more information on her home business. So I guess check out this page if you're interested. However, I suggest going here for way more exciting things to read (and more pictures of yours truly)! While you're away, I'm going to pull some strings for a tasty treat and take a nap. After all, it's not every year that a human without a vehicle must brave freezing temperatures in search of a W2.

Selfie Sunday

The humans are stuck in the house again today. Church was canceled so they all slept in a bit and made a big breakfast. Of course I got up at my normal time and ate my fair share of eggs, biscuits, and whatever tasty treat "grits" are. Now that chores are done (I helped clean a few dishes myself), each human has fallen victim to some laze-inducing light-emitting screen-wielding item of technology.

This is how humans hold their rank among the pack: The littlest humans share the littlest sources of tech; what they call an"iPad" and a "Kindle", while the biggest humans sit on their bums and stare at the largest screen in the house; the "40-inch flat-screen HD TV". The biggest humans often tolerate the middle-size humans joining them in watching the TV as long as the biggest humans choose what to watch. If they choose not to watch with the biggest humans (which usually is the case), the middle-size humans go to their respective rooms and do whatever they do with their middle-size tech gadgets called "laptops".

Now and then, my human shuts me in our room with my crate open because I am so trustworthy. This is when I click and clack my nails on her "laptop" to record my thoughts on this "61-day" mystery thing that is going on. Today, she left her "Facebook" page open and I saw something called "Selfie Sunday" that caught my interest. Apparently, those photos that someone takes of themselves (rather than having them taken by someone else) are called Selfies. And Sunday is the day to do it! So, naturally, I decided to try my paw at it and rooted through my human's tech drawer to dig out her camera. Here are my results:

 

 01/24/14 "selfie"

Also, while rummaging through another drawer of my human's, I found these "whelping box plans" which I highly suspect might be a clue to the mystery. The plans include something called "pig rails" so now I think my long floppy ears might have heard wrong the other day. What I thought was talk about "puppies" was actually "piggies". I don't know exactly what kind of animal pigs are, but I wouldn't put it past my humans to get some. We already have rabbits, chickens, cats, a lizard, a rat, and of course us dogs. Hmm... with 56 days to go, I'm thinking I figured out the secret way too early. Now what am I going to do on these stuck-in-the-house kind of snowy days? Maybe I'll shove one of the biggest humans off of the comfy chair and see what's playing on the 40" HD TV. I am top dog of this pack after all:

Shiver Me Timbers!

I must admit that I don't know what the title phrase actually means. It just sounds like a good title for today because it sure is cold outside!!! Don't get me wrong... I love snow. When there is a lot of snow, it's more challenging to find the scents of those rascally wild animals that roam my yard while I'm inside. It makes the humans laugh to see me snorting around with my head down like a plow. They laugh harder when I come up for air with several inches of the fluff balanced between my eyes.

Here is a picture of me today with some fluff stuck to my drooly jowls.

But days like today are so cold that I can barely stand still long enough to do my business before heading back inside. This means I get to hang out with the humans and remind them how much they love me. Most dogs know that chewing up the little humans' toys is a good way to stimulate the economy, but few know that there is a certain way to go about it. Since shredding stuffed animals to bits often causes emotional uproars, the best toys to target are the plastic and wooden sets made up of many pieces. A piece or two can be chewed here and there with no consequence until eventually there are not enough pieces left for the toy to be much fun and another one is purchased in its place. Note to self: this tactic should never ever be used for the biggest human man's puzzle games.

Today I started working on wooden pieces from the smallest human's construction set.

I also chewed the "buds" off of my human's ear buds. She loves those things. This one will stimulate the economy for sure!

I also like to show the humans how caring I am by sharing their food and cleaning their faces so they don't have to go wash up. The little humans especially love this; they squeal with delight when I snatch a half of their sandwich or knock over a glass of milk that they didn't really want to drink. When someone is cooking, I keep them company in the kitchen and remind them that it is my duty to be the taste-tester. If I find that the dish isn't good enough for my humans (you know they only deserve the best) I will eat it all myself or at least knock it to the floor for the cats as soon as the cook steps out of the kitchen. It is amazing to me how much food the humans waste!

Speaking of food, my human changed my rations of kibble. Instead of getting 4 cups at night to eat when I please, I now get 2 cups in the morning and 2 cups at night. She says that I will appreciate the change later when I "can't handle so much at once". What could that possibly mean? I am pretty sure I'll always have the same size stomach! Also, when she got herself a bowl of ice cream last night, she didn't share it with me like usual! Normally we split it 50/50 which is only fair, but last night she let me sit there while she ate the whole thing and then I only got to lick the bowl!

Something sure is changing alright. The humans have lost their puzzle pieces... er, marbles!!! Maybe they'll go back to normal after this whole "61-day thing" is over, whatever it is. 2 days down and 59 to go. Let's hope the temperatures go up before too many days go by... I have business to do!

Yesterday

I start this blog because the humans at my house are up to something. No matter how much I sit around listening in on their conversations I just can't get in on the secret. They toss around the word "pregnant" a lot, but how is a hound supposed to know what that means? There is also talk about "61 days" and "puppies". The most I can make of it is that we are adding to the pack. Perhaps they've picked us out a new puppy or two that will be here in two months. I love puppies. I sure hope that is what's up.

But I can't shake the feeling that the change has something to do with what happened to me yesterday. My human took me to see Rush, my bloodhound pal. We had been seeing a lot of him lately, and my hasn't he grown handsome since we were pups! I had looked forward to playing with him again but my human picked the worst time ever to go visit! Doesn't she know that us female bloodhounds have hormonal times just like she does? Poor human... she has seasons every month, during which she hates to go anywhere, see anyone, or do anything! And yet she picks one my two annual seasons to take me to see my friend. How embarrassing!

Each time I visited Rush we met up at the vet's office. We had fun playing in the waiting room but he sure acted funny around me. I guess a gorgeous bloodhound girl like myself can make a guy nervous. The first two visits, the vet took some blood from me, told my human that something was "too early" and told us to come back. But the last two times I saw Rush, things were really weird. The vet told my human to face me into a corner and have me stand still, which I didn't mind. I just wish I knew what they did to Rush! It didn't sound like he was standing still at all. I kept straining my head around to look over my shoulder out of curiosity but my human would just scold me and so I would stare at the wall again. Then they took Rush out and, after a bit, it was my turn. This must be what they did to Rush. The vet lifted my back legs onto the human's bench and made me stand with my rear end up in the air while he checked out my girly bits to to make sure I was okay. What a lazy dumb doctor! Doesn't he know that this bleeding is a normal part of my season? And why in the world wouldn't he just get down on his knees to have a look like any other normal vet? He had me stand like that until I got a headache.

Humans are WEIRD! Now that my season is coming to an end and I am feeling more like myself  I feel that our visits with Rush are over too. This blog will keep me busy over the next two months so I don't die out of curiosity wondering what the big secret is that the humans are keeping. One day down, 60 to go!